WHAT I WANNA DO FOR NEW YEARS THIS YEAR

You know what I wanna do on New Years Eve? Of Course You Don't. Thats why I'm gonna tell you. I wanna have random sex with the first 10 women I see. I don't care if its the old lady that be trynna rape me or the big fat homeless lady that took a dump in front of me in the alley. I'm just saying if u want it make sure you're 1 of the 10. I'll have u shakin more than a jelloton ass. P.S. I'm just jokin. the horny old lady and homeless lady cannot participate. I am not that nasty but Oprah bring your cash and you can participate. I accept checks but don't bring steadman or Dr. Phil but if u can bring me a young Stacy Dash then it will be free but 40 sumthin Stacy Dash is a discount

ELMO LUVIN

I KEEP TELLIN PEOPLE THAT ELMO IS NOT GAY ... HE JUST LIKE IT HAIRY!!

SQUIRRELS, PT.3: SQUIRREL PRANK

These squirrels are becoming ASSHOLES!!! The other day I was walking past this vacant lot & two of em start playing in the damn bushes; They then jumped out onto the pole that was right next to me and nearly sent me to the afterlife ... I'm gonna KILL them bitches!! ... Gone stare at me with their innocent faces ... Lets see how they look when I shoot all of them with a b b gun!

WOULD YOU?

Would you have sex with a goat for one million dollars? ... I know I would ... For A Mil, I would stick my penis in anything... I would stick inside a hippo for a Mil; I would stick inside a rabbit for a mil; I wouldn't stick it in no males ass for no mil though ... Thats nasty!!!!!!! I ain't gay in the sense of liking penis ... I'm gay in the sense of being happy.